another lesson learnt.

back home from yongen's house.
and i realised i have not added el, yongen and zenith to my thanks list.
el came straight to find me that late night and talked till midnight.
girl, i really missed you and you always know what im thinking about.
your big hug was what i really needed then.

i always call yongen. ><
even though you have your own problems, you still listen to me.
listen to my cries and all my whys.
and today, you came straight from tiong bahru to find me at sengkang because im on the verge of fainting in the public.
you dunoe where i am yet you still try all means to find me.
and you even give me food to eat. you let me sleep at your house.
im really really grateful.

and zenith. im really really touched by you.
you know i didnt eat for days, you yesterday msn me to ask me take care of myself.
today also because i need energy for my exams.
you specially come all the way from hougang to pasir ris and even bought me porridge
for me to get energy. you dunoe where's yongen's house den you still come.
and that porridge is really delicious. not that im hungry but it's really nice.
im super shocked to know you got it from whitesands foodcourt. lols.
im super touched.


i went to his house to take back my clothes.
and i didnt know why i felt so weak suddenly on my way there.
i keep losing my balance. and finally he came to open the door and give me,
i need a place to sit so i stumbled towards the lift.
fk. thank god i didnt faint in front of him because i dun wan to gain any sympathy at all.
especially from him.
if you wan to be cruel to me, please be cruel all the way.
it doesnt help even if you wan to help me at all.
it only makes me feel disgusted.

i was really scared because my legs and hands went numb suddenly even if im moving.
den i couldnt control my legs and hands too. all were in awkward position.
as if i kena stroke like that. alot of people looked at me like im crazy because i also had difficulty in breathing.
and i slowly make my way to the bus stop and that's when yongen came.
im really really appreciate your help.
i hope you and your boy gets okay..


so i ate. half plate of beehoon and a whole container of century egg porridge.
i guess i should stop making other people worry for me now.
even my father's aware of what's happening.
before i left the house today, he told me dun come back so late and dun do stupid things anymore.
im like o.o! er. what stupid things?
he replied i dunoe what stupid things you do.
im like omg.. so he knows everything. damn.
mother and father didnt reproach me about getting drunk. so, im saved. haha!

for now, i will be a happy girl doing what she wants and like.
and even something she has nv done before.
i wanna try clubbing if it's really that fun.
i got terrance to bring me out. so yay! probably do once more during the chalet with el.

everyone's telling me to let go of the past and that given my qualities (which i truely dun think so), i can find a much better guy.
but for now, i dun think i would like to do anymore long r/s. i still feel short-term's better.
Not much commitment, just have fun. and i wont be putting my 101% anymore.
now i realised no matter how much effort you have put into a r/s, if the other person dont do likewise, there will never be a happy ending.
but im so going to enjoy my singlehood now. Expand my social circle once again because it's like ever since i knew that bastard, i nv get any chance to socialise.

that stupid grace! she went tipsy first before me.
she started using my phone to go and take pictures. =.=
she totally went nuts lahs. she was talking rubbish.

i looked so freaking tired.

i was almost drunk already after finishing my second bottle of E-33

grace and i tried to use joey's way of opening bottle.

it's going to open already but i didnt dare to use my teeth any harder.

so i was actually using the rock to open it.

i keep doing but nothing happen. den grace ask me to do it harder.

i did it and it opened already. except that i totally broke the whole neck. LOLS!

den that grace go and roll down the bottle neck to the sand.

dunoe what she's doing.

it was a smooth break so i could still drink even though grace warned me that there may be tiny glass pieces inside.

but no one's going to stop me drinking heineken!

i dunoe who's going to be my other half.

but the lesson i learnt is that having a boyf is not important as having friends.

friends do not break your heart at all.

so even i do have a future boyf, i can never love a person like i used to anymore.

everything has changed. Love freaks me out.

el, now i know what you're talking about.

thankyou for those who have called and chat with me to remind me that they are there for me.

really really grateful.

and i think i wouldnt have got it over so fast without you all.

:)