drunk virginity gone. :D

wah sai lahs.
first time got drunk.
i can hold my liquor. but dunoe why this time i cant.
probably because i haven eaten anything for 3 whole days.
and today's the 4th day. woohoo~

sorry to those people who i keep calling when im drunk and to make you so worried.
this does not applies to the fucking bastard :)

im over you. thankyou for being so cruel.
because at least now, i got my freedom. i can really do what i want now.
even though, i was crying like shyt. but it really doesnt bothers me much.
i've now accepted how things really go now, im taking things at stride.
it's really fuck you. :)

i really really want to thanks all my supporting friends.
grace esp. because my vomit was like at her shoes and legs. really sorry about that.
and you dun need to buy me alcohol anymore because im like turning 18 in 2 days'? ROFL.
justin. gosh. i've been calling you so often lately. thank you lahs. im sorry i made you worried too.
stella. who is from my course and now is close friend of mine. we're so super close now and im really happy that i have her with me to spend the time away. i know i should have listened to you earlier to save me from this unnecessary pain.
samuel. although we know each other for like 3 years but we just talk only. LOLS.
im no longer in the same boat as you now because im single! good luck to you in making your gf happy okay?? im so gloating that you're still suffering =x

totally embarrassed myself lahs. so many people saw me vomitting.
and there's one guy at the park ask grace whether im okay or not.
im like of cos im not! i know he's just kind to ask lahs. but it's really a dumb question. lols.
he could have asked grace if she needs help.
because i totally cannot walk at all. i keep sitting down on the floor. and she has to carry me.
vomit at the park, downtown east food court. near the toilet.
grace even told me that people's stepping on my vomit. lols!
because it's colourless so no one can really see. no food for 3 days.
i know alot of people are looking at me. but i cant see them because im totally bending down when grace's holding my waist, dragging me.

damn, i feel like vomitting again.
mother just came in to check on me. i think she knows i went drinking because i was out for the whole night and she also smelled alcohol.
sigh. i will never do anything for one bastard.
but who knows? i may go crazy anytime and just kill myself. which apparently, im not doing it now.
but sometimes i wished that day that i fainted at his house while waiting for him, it took my life.
i dunoe how long i was unconscious because i rmb it's sunny den when i wake up, it's dark.
nobody's at home so i woke up on my own and felt a bump on my head.
fking hurts can. i think i hit at the bed corner.


o well. hello to single life already.
i cant express how grateful i am to my friends because they still advise to give up but i didnt because im super stubborn.
and this is the first time i cried one day for a r/s
others like 1 week that kind of stuff.
dunoe bad news or what.
dunoe whether it's because im stronger now or i have cried too much for this r/s that i dun wan to cry anymore.

btw, the issue of me not eating for days is purely because i want to lose weight.
i know this is the most extreme way of me dieting.
confirm im gonna have my gastrics again.
i wan to be 48kg before i leave! and the surgery on my wisdom will accelerates the process too.
because i wont be eating anything. i hate porridge!

and now, im so going to spend more time with my girlfriends.
im so sorry that i neglected you all.


fyi, im a cruel bitch too.