Sunday, 22 June 2008

just a note

Specially Dedicated To:
All Married Couples and Singles Who Intend to Get Married
(Worth reading this)

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner,
I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you.
She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth.
But I had to let her know what I was thinking.

I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.
She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words,
instead she asked me softly, why? I avoided her question.
This made her angry.
She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man!

That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping.
I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage.
But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer;
I had lost my heart to a lovely girl called Dew.
I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her.

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which
stated that she could own our house, 30% shares of
my company and the car.
She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces.
The woman who had spent ten years of her life
with me had become a stranger.

I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy
but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly.
Finally she cried loudly in front of me,which was what I had expected to see.
To me her cry was actually a kind of release.
The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks
seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her
writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight
to sleep and fell asleep very fast because
I was tired after an eventful day with Dew.
When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing.
I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions:
she didn't want anything from me,but needed a month's notice before the divorce.
She requested that in that one month we both
struggle to live as normal a life as possible..
Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a months time
and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more,
she asked me to recall how I had carried her into
our bridal room on our wedding day.
She requested that everyday for the month's duration
I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning.
I thought she was going crazy.
Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions.
She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd.
No matter what tricks she applies,
she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.
My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my
divorce intention was explicitly expressed.
So when I carried her out on the first day,we both appeared clumsy.
Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms.
His words brought me a sense of pain.

From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door,
I walked over ten meters with her in my arms.
She closed her eyes and said softly;
don't tell our son about the divorce.
I nodded, feeling somewhat upset.
I put her down outside the door.
She went to wait for the bus to work.
I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily.
She leaned on my chest...I could smell the fragrance of her blouse.
I realized that I hadn't looked at this
woman carefully for a long time.
Irealized she was not young any more.
There were fine wrinkles on her face,her hair was graying!

Our marriage had taken its toll on her.
For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up,
I felt a sense of intimacy returning...
This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.
On the fifth and sixth day,I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again.
I didn't tell Dew about this.
It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by.
Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one morning.
She tried on quite a few dresses
but could not find a suitable one.
Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger.
I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin,
that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.
Suddenly it hit me;
she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart.
Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.
Our son came in at the moment and said,
Dad, it's time to carry mum out.
To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out
had become an essential part of his life.
My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly.
I turned my face away because I was afraid
I might change my mind at this last minute.
I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom,
through the sitting room, to the hallway.
Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally.
I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made me sad.

On the last day,when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step.
Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said,
I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.
I drove to office...jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door.
I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs.
Dew opened the door and I said to her,"Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore".
She looked at me, astonished. Then touched my forehead.
"Do you have a fever?" She said.
I moved her hand off my head.
"Sorry, Dew, I said, I won't divorce.
My marriage life was boring probably because she and I
didn't value the details of our lives,not because we didn't love each other any more.
Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day
I am supposed to hold her until death does us apart"'
Dew seemed to suddenly wake up.
She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears.
I walked downstairs and drove away.
At the floral shop on the way,
I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife.
The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card.
I smiled and wrote:
'I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart'

----------------------------------------------------------------


The small details of our lives are
what really matter in a relationship.
It is not the mansion, the car, the property,the bank balance that matters.
These create an environment conducive for happiness
but cannot give happiness in themselves.

So find time to be your spouse's friend and
do those little things for each other that build intimacy.
Do have a real happy marriage!!!

To peoples who read this,
Do share this to others, nothing will happen to you,but if you do, you just might save a marriage.
Relationships are made not to exploit, not to be broken.
You don't get to choose how you are going to die, or when,
but, you can decide how you are going to live, here and now.

cried whenever i read this before i left for london
i do know how the guy feel at that point of time.
sometimes we humans are really too busy to notice little yet powerful details in our partners
whether we've changed shampoos, put on any perfume or just put a lil effort to dress up.
guys usually say " i just love you the way you are "
but however, we girls ( and some guys ) do really care about this kind of little details.
at very least we know you're sensitive and take notice of us and tell us.
this kind of shyt always always happen to us.
sometimes i always try to look out.
and when times i felt that "nahs, he wont do anything today", things always turn out the other way round!

and i just watched this movie - Serendipity
inspiring.

i miss you marcus.
do your thing to make me feel better. =\

and to everybody, yup im back from london, belgium, luxemburg, luzern, rome, venice, italy, monaco, paris xDDDDDD
i finally cancel one thing from my long long list in my head.
I WENT UP TO THE HIGHEST PART OF EFFIEL TOWER!!

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