all crumbled up. coming undone.

ahhhh!
haven been online again.
and this i didnt do it on purpose.
YOU KNOW IM DOING TWO-PERSONS WORK EVERY
SINGLE DAY. IT'S FREAKING EXHAUSTING.
mailto:#$%^*$#%^@#%$%*&*)^&$%@#!%@$&$!~&(&*$% BOSS.
rarrrrr.
and there's once i OT the whole week!
including saturday. which im supposed to go off @12.30
but i left at 2.30pm.
i just dun understand why why why why got sooooo many ppl
wants EXPEDITORS to help them transport their items instead of DHL.
did you even know expeditors exist?

DO YOU?!

i dun think so.
and they dun even have advertisements. =.=
argh. i just hope none of my colleagues come to my blog
ehs. nvm nvm. let them come. hehshehs.
LET THEM TELL THE BOSS TO SACK ME. MUAHAHAHHA.
den IM FREE LIKE A BIRD...
cos ah. i found out that actually working society is no diff from
secondary school environment.
everybody gossips, everybody backstabs, everybody just have to
do their work. no difference. neither do i think are their thinking.
it's the same.
it's only their phyical appearance gets wrinkled.



and my email inbox is so flooded.
ah psps arh people.
OOOOH.syl friendster-ed me. LOLS.
EHS! you're mentioned here. xD




IM SOOOOO JEALOUS THAT PATRICK, MONG FUI & DERRICK
ARE MARRIED AND HAVE KIDS.
T.T
im yearning for a baby nephew/niece!!!!!!!!!!
PATRICK IS 27, MONG FUI IS 30, DERRICK IS 28
KORKORKORKORKORKORKORKORKOR
WHEN ARE YOU GETTING MARRIED?!!!
im really desperate to see a baby in our family. SERIOUS.
patrick is younger than you and he got married and have kids.
sigh~
i wan to hear the lil sweet soft gentle voice calling me aunt.
i wan to see that angel eyes and smell their baby skin.
to me, babies are the greatest thing.
i can never forget what mrs koh had told us about babies.
neither do i forget that video. *awwwww*
i dun mind being called aunt.
i just wan to touch that soft bouncy skin. T.T
omg. i dunoe why i have the sudden urge about babies.
sigh. im jealous. im freaking jealous.
i think my mum has influenced me about babies. AHHHHH.
my bro's aint getting impatient but i am.
something's very very wrong with me.
and that mongfui go and call me xiaomeimei.
cos i eat strawberry pocky every single day. RARRRR.







ahhhhh. im going crazy.







another reason was i have been spending time with her.
regardless how tired i was,
we still meet.
yea.
gosh. im like spending my days with her.
parents let me talk through the night. =)))
i can bring her to my house. hahha.
alot alot more freedom than going out with guys.







life's short.
so just have all the fun you can have.
enjoy what you can.
of cos before i die, i wan to try all sorts of stuffs.
forgive me for turning out this way.







and suay suay.
i sprained my ankle AGAIN.
it was on one of my self-pampering day again.
on my way down the staircase of tampines mrt,
dun0e what happened, my ankle somehow got twisted and
i limped all the way to nail palace. T.T
it got swollen and i told jacelyn not to turn my right ankle.
luckily i got an umbrella to act as a support. =)))
i brought home that day cos i left it in the office for dunoe how long.
and mother was saying how come it had disappear.
and when i came back,
quarrels start again.
fk it.
o ya. on that day, i oso went to tutor zenith.
on bus 87, i saw this sakura-like tree in hougang.
omg. it's soooo pretty can?
at first glance i tot it's a real sakura tree.
it's in the midst of those greengreen leaves and out of nowhere.
this babypink strikes out and stands alone.
nxt time i'll take photo and show you guys.
after tuition, he walked me to the bus stop.
and i realised actually trees are unique.
they do not only provide shade and hold the soil to prevent soil erosion.
but the way the branches grows, it's like a body language thingy.
seriously.
i turned left and right, every tree is showing me diff attitudes.
go and try it yourself. imagine the trunk as a body.
i see some like "ohh-c'mon&give-give-what-u've-got" , "Harry, please lift me up"
i know it's like bitchy that kind. but that's how i see.
and that long stretch of road.. it's sooo photogenic.
im looking things differently ever since i went to xiaoai's house.
cos she showed me this black&white photo of a tree. gosh.
im so inspired to become a photographer. but nahs.
her fren's soooo talented.
while waiting, was talking to zenith.
he's an0ther person who says cherish your life.
i know i know i know.
ya. i keep saying i know but no actions done.
money. im like a slave to money now. serious. im begging money to give me
happiness. which of cos it's never enough and im craving for it.
and for that i need to spend money which was no problem as im a shopaholic.
which concludes, im a hopeless loser.
i will never change my mindset to appreciate the lil things that my parents
done.
though it's the opposite of what my heart feels.







i just cant wait to get a new phone.
cos i haven deleted any of his msges.
it's so tempting to read it again to ......
i nv fails to smile every single time i read it.
get a new phone and waila no more sms-es and photos of him.
father was even thinking of getting me another line.
so i MAY have 2 phones in the future.. WEEEEEE.
special ranks in his life.
is that true babyboy?
whatever. now i got her to depend on. right?! =)
i know you're reading this! cos im on the phone with you now. hahaha.






and i probably know how i get soooo many anonymous phone calls.
from those surveys i helped those ppl do.
argh. sickening.
i swear this is the last time im putting my real number inside.
esp. tampines.
ARGH
GOT SO MANY SURVEYORS.
everytime after work will kena one de.
and there's once i saw elhannah at the mrt HAHA.
so qiao. and she was like peering out to see someone like that.







and my sweet cravings nv stopped. wah laus.
it's either i been drinking ice milk tea from that wanchai
cos it's really really special cos they include this vanilla ice cream
so when it melts it still sweet instead of diluted.
i dun think any of hongkong cafe done this.
or i drink bubbletea. champange grape ice or honeydew milk tea.
EHS. I SEE ALOT OF PEOPLE DRINKING THIS 2 DRINKS.
weeeeeeeeeeeee.
it's cute to hear honeydew milk tea from one customer after another.
like canon sia. xD
AND APPARENTLY 7-11 HAVE STOPPED THE OFFER OF
BUYING 2 POCKYS @ $2.10
argh. it really pissed me off. i only stopped buying during the one week break
from work and the offer stopped.
helllo!!! im a supporter of pocky here!
gosh. i missed hongkong. i dun mind not going for sprees.
but just go to their cafe chill out and try their special desserts.
sigh~
im supposed to go london for 2 weeks in june but parents changed again
going to japan instead.
they were inspired cos of those japan shows in channelnewasia which they
had been watching for dunoe how many years..
=.-
tours wont bring us there that's what i told them.
o well. just hope it will be a happy time for the 4ofus.
i missed my brother so.



talking pocky.
i learnt a few new words though.
LOLS.
kopie.
hehs. guess it.




















it's COPY IN GERMAN. ROFL.

kopie reminds me of kopi.
argh. dun talk about that.
just now saw alex and he opened that mouth of his
got that strong stench of caffeine ~~ out lahs.
ARGH. BLARDY HELL SMELLY CAN.
coffee drinkers. please stay away from me or else i scotch-taped your mouth!
another word would be pagina.
it's page in spanish. wonderful. =)
sounded like pageant. wooots.
and one crude word.
i dun0e what's the spelling for that but it pronounced as pocky.
pocky = cb in malay.
rosli tell our department lahs.
den they dun dare call me pockynette liao.
HAHA! good.
but i got a new name. sianz-ed
JUNTAK LAHS. kns him.
call me shark in chinese. dun0e what stupid explanation he gave me lahs.
den peihwa call me coconut tree.
cos juntak complained that his neck is getting stiffy
from all those talkings to me. (he's kinda below my shoulder)



other than busying resting after work& accompany-ing her,
of cos i went for retail therapy.
how can i dun shop?!
HAHA!
ehs. i gave my mum a treat as an early mother's day
cos apparently last year one was quite terrible cos i ran away
during a dinner halfway. o well. my girlfriends would know what happened.
and im not free that day as my ticket for Phantom of The Opera is on that day.
60bucks for that canto lunch at some restaurant.
SEEE. im good to her sometimes. but xintong lehs!
60... i can buy like 3 tops from bugis?!
and so after the treat, i went for bioskin facial.
i did a very very very bad thing behind my mother's back.
i had my atm card with me.
AND IM SOOOO TEMPTED TO BUY THE PACKAGE.
o well. everyone knows the outcome. =)
you know actually bioskin facial is very very very good.
even mother oso saw instant results on my face.
{ soooo much better than jeanyip and jeanyip doesnt have student prices!
argggggh. jeanyip like bs. even their haircut oso quite normal de lors!
im damn biased against jeanyip. hate hate hate jeanyip }
but i told her about the package which i oready bought
i was kinda persuading her to let me get it which of cos
i oready paid so if she agreed, she can help me pay. WEEEEEE
but of cos i failed.
that's why i say i can never be a saleperson!
cos i can never reach my sales target.
o well.
i guess this is the last package im going to pay for it.
it cost me 800bucks. hehs it's student price. U.P. is 1800.
more than 50% off sia!
i oready got my pedicure package, hairspa package and now this
facial one.
my hairspa is 598bucks. my pedicure is 360.
for your info, i only worked for 1 month 1 week
and so far i only received 800plus money. =) it's gone now
gosh.
I HAVEN EVEN START SHOPPING. ARGGGGH.
AND MY CHALET. AHHH.
and you all should try the trial package for those who are first-timers.
seriously. it's worth it. there's 2 diff package. one 58bucks and another
one is 88bucks. plus there's oso ampluse {for pores} and eye massage
each cost 42bucks for trial too.
omg. their shoulder massage is FAB. though they are like going to touch your
breasts. {it's included in the trial package}
im still trying to adjust to the feeling of wearing their tube towels.
i wonder what the guys wear. topless?
there's like 4male customers went for facial.
though i cant really see that they NEED facial. probably i didnt see clearly
enough.. lols.
and the structure inside the shop it's really really awesome
like some sheltered rainforest house. totally naturekind.
i had fun chatting with the therapists. hahaha.
n0w there's 5 people saying im too pampered and i should cherish my life
now.
YA YA YA YA.
i oso dunoe say how many times about this issue.
but it's hard for me to change immediately de mahs.
after i finished the packages den say lahs.
and i oso asked about acrylic nails @nail palace.
130bucks. not sure if i should do it.
xiaoai sure say me le.
cos i dunoe where is the cheapest! T.T
I NEED SHOES, TUBES AND SKINNYJEANS &HOW CAN I FORGET
MY BELOVED EVERLAST BAG?!.
i need heels.
i never wear my heels for 2 days cos of my stupid sprain.
but i dun care, i still wear my 4inch heels.
and pain came back. argh. i dun care. lalala.
i feeel soooooo short&weird without it lahs.
even though im taller than most of the people there without my heels.
HAHA =x
o ya!!! who know which shop sells opaque black stockings?
it's pretty disgusting to see those cheap cheap stockings
when you stretch it, can see your skin de.
*gross out, shudders*
and im going online shopping again.
someone please keep me away from my atm card!
and do you know getting addictive with those online shopping blogs
is one of the signs of getting stress? =)
and guess what.
imma small size28. WEEEEE almost 27 liao.
cos a few of my newly bought skirts/shorts can pull down without being unbutton.
LOLS.
and mother found out about that facial package cos
apparently she went to update my bankbook the very next day.
argh. lots of scolding but she stopped. LOLS
even asked my brother wan to give it a try or not. =.=






omg. i STILL got sooooo many things to say.
but im dead tired. but i still say for the sake of my readers okay?
actually im looking forward going to TP for lessons.
den i can actually have meals with girlfriends again!
it's been a long time since we could have a meal all 6ofus.
while eating and talk crap and laugh till our stomach aches.
those were those times.
sigh~ not all of them are going to the chalet.
dun even know should i even hold a chalet and save my money
to go shopping.
i do miss school routine.
FOR NOW.
im not so sure if i should say im glad i have 10 months to school
and off im going to aust.
i decided. not to do those cosmo thingy.
i just wan to get over and done with degree. cos it suxs.
and enjoy the pace of life in aust with my dearest bro.
im getting more and more taitai le.
enjoying is what i do best.
CURRENTLY.
i dun think i ever get to enjoy for at least one whole day
when school starts.
gosh. i think i need to find another job after my contacts ends.
i seriously need more money.
and i decided to cancel alot from my things-to-get/do list.
spa
coloured contacts
makeup


this way i saved almost 400bucks.
but im intending to buy new specs from my fav. shop in queensway. =)
argh. dunoe see first.
cos im kinda lazy to wear contact n0wadays.
cos im supposed to get up at 6.30am but im waking up at 7am.
just like the old school days and i had to rush off to work lalalala.
and i oso nv wear makeup for 2 weeks.
kinda think i wasted money alot on makeup.
but i still wan eyeshadow. rarrrr.
I PRAY FOR MY LESSONS TO START AFTER 10AM.
SHIOK ARH.
ooooooh! reminds me of my new colleague.
amanda. talked to her more recently.
she's from electronics eng. from TP.
omg. TP again. =.=
she aint a singaporean. but alot of people seems to get frustrated with
her cos she's too slow in doing things and learning.
HEYS! she reminds me of myself when i just started work lahs.
kns.




and 29thmay sentosa date with grace! wooots!
sun-tanning!
13thmay phantom of the opera concert with yongen's family!
WOOOOTS!



and i feel like cutting my hair short.
i feeeel so messy cos my hair's like 4inches below my shoulder oready.
it's been years since i had this length.
been thinking of extension. BUT DUN WAN.
save money. HEHS
and weather's been drastic. gosh. bth
been starting to go for lunch breaks. WEEE.
of cos i purposely go and stand in between my colleagues.
and i keep seeing choonhui's husband. but sad.
he dun recognise me when i keep looking at him.
and sooner or later my lungs are going to be black
even though im not smoking.
but everywhere i go during lunchbreaks,
smokers are everywhere!
RARRRRRRR.



it's pretty saddening that you can help your friends with r/s probs.
but you cant help yourself. cos you're aint an outsider.
you're caught in between the thoughts of your head and heart.
yes, outsider sees the most.
how to get out of that box?







let me vent my frustrations for awhile kay? thanks =)
IHATEYOU IHATEYOU IHATEYOU IHATEYOU IHATEYOU IHATEYOU IHATEYOU IHATEYOU IHATEYOU IHATEYOU IHATEYOU IHATEYOU IHATEYOU IHATEYOU IHATEYOU IHATEYOU IHATEYOU IHATEYOU IHATEYOU IHATEYOU IHATEYOU IHATEYOU IHATEYOU IHATEYOU IHATEYOU IHATEYOU IHATEYOU IHATEYOU IHATEYOU IHATEYOU IHATEYOU IHATEYOU IHATEYOU IHATEYOU IHATEYOU IHATEYOU IHATEYOU IHATEYOU IHATEYOU IHATEYOU IHATEYOU IHATEYOU IHATEYOU IHATEYOU IHATEYOU IHATEYOU IHATEYOU IHATEYOU IHATEYOU IHATEYOU IHATEYOU IHATEYOU IHATEYOU IHATEYOU IHATEYOU IHATEYOU IHATEYOU IHATEYOU IHATEYOU IHATEYOU IHATEYOU IHATEYOU IHATEYOU IHATEYOU IHATEYOU IHATEYOU IHATEYOU IHATEYOU IHATEYOU IHATEYOU IHATEYOU IHATEYOU IHATEYOU IHATEYOU IHATEYOU IHATEYOU IHATEYOU IHATEYOU IHATEYOU IHATEYOU IHATEYOU IHATEYOU IHATEYOU IHATEYOU IHATEYOU IHATEYOU IHATEYOU IHATEYOU IHATEYOU IHATEYOU IHATEYOU IHATEYOU IHATEYOU IHATEYOU IHATEYOU IHATEYOU IHATEYOU IHATEYOU IHATEYOU IHATEYOU FUUUUCCCCCCK YOU.
believing lies,
im psycho-ing myself that im blardyhell useless.
why should i make myself suffer bastard.
you aint the one who suffer. one day i swear you'll suffer worse than me.
whatever. im feeling emo. dun feel like blogging le.
byebye. takecares.





girl,
im sorry that i had been so straightforward to you
without considering your feelings.
but it's the fact.
i just wanna let you kn0w how i feel.
just think about what i had said
11o4o7.
we both know that we wont have an happy ending,
but we'll make do with it rite?
yay! tml one month le!

leave me alone.

b'cause i have left.

this is me.

dun put words into my mouth

i didnt say what you had said.

so just shut the fuck up.

you're soooo not welcome.