i am at loss

i cant depend on anyone
even though i cant even depend on myself.
I cant connect my thoughts at all.

I haven sleep all night.
No one can help me.
Neither can i help myself anymore.

I thought all these while the Lord actually gave me courage.
But no, it's all just my imagination
Everything's a lie.
I dont know what the fuck am i lying to myself for.

i wanna quit school so bad.
i know it's not worth it. but i just cant handle it anymore.
im bound to fail the courses anyway.
As much as i need him or anyone else for the matter, at the same time, i want to be alone.
But i cant control my emotions.

I dont know what im trying to say here. I cant even think properly now.